Dillie Keane is the founder member and principal song-writer (with Adele Anderson) of Fascinating Aida. The legendary group is on a tour with Cheap Flights, their brand new show. Now a global internet sensation with more than six million hits on YouTube, Fascinating Aida is appearing in theatres around the UK and will be at London’s Charing Cross Theatre from 8 December to 7 January 2012. www.fascinatingaida.co.uk.
Cheapflights: What do you always do when you travel – any routine procedures?
Dillie Keane: Oh indeed we do. When we’re going on holiday, we always try to get there early enough to (a) do a quick emergency shop at Boots for mini shampoos etc., and then to have a relatively leisurely lunch at one of the seafood bars the other side of customs. A crab salad and a bottle of crisp Chablis is a cracking way to start our holiday. If I’m travelling for work, it’s the same routine, but without the Chablis.
CF: What is your travel pet peeve?
DK: Having to go left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right through those taped-off “corridors” when they’re empty. They’re obviously a good way of organising large queues, but why on earth don’t they open them when it’s quiet? Oh, and being taken for a terrorist when I’m discovered with a 125ml bottle of body lotion in my hand-luggage. Really, what threat does a middle-aged broad with well-moisturised skin pose? Use your discretion, oh ye Customs Operatives, puh-lease.
CF: Best destination you have ever been to and why?
DK: We had the most fabulous, wonderful, sensational holiday in Sri Lanka a couple of years ago. I didn’t know what to expect, but I absolutely loved it. The people were charming, the island is very pretty, the culture is interesting, we went with a very good company – not top-of-the-range, just a reliable, nice company. The elephant orphanage was absolutely fantastic. We had so many laughs there with our driver who was really nice, but terribly anxious all the time, and tried to get us to buy things (I think he might have been on commission!). And his accent was quite strong, so we kept misunderstanding him which he found as hilarious as we did. And we ended up spending eight days on the Indian Ocean in the nicest hotel I’ve ever been to. It was absolute magic.
CF: Where in the world offers the best value for money?
DK: Golly, that’s a tough question! We’re quite fussy about our food, and think France is terrific value, because you can eat so well there. Little bistros take huge pride in what they serve, and you don’t have to opt for haute cuisine to eat great French food. Their markets are marvellous, so if you’re self-catering you can eat like a king for much less than you’d spend on the same kind of produce here.
CF: Is there anywhere you think offers great value and a great deal?
DK: America is great value for various reasons; cheap motels, cheap fuel, cheap car hire and although the food is not fancy, they give you very large portions! And the Americans are such friendly and generous people, there are wonderful holidays of every kind to be had there.
CF: What is the best airport you have flown from, and is there a tip to make this airport experience great?
DK: Um… I tend to think airports are the invention of the devil, because flying has become such a trial. However, I positively adore Alderney Airport, because it’s just a hut and a landing strip. We’ve performed in Alderney a few times, and our hosts always come down to wave us off. We get onto the little planes and look out of the window, and there they are, waving us off at the other side of the fence. Adorable!
CF: When you fly, is there a tip you can share to make the experience a great one?
DK: Indeed there is. Bring your own food! A tray of sushi, a packet of macaroons and a banana each.
DK: The only time I’ve travelled club class across the Atlantic was from DFW to Heathrow some years ago, and I was really excited about going club class. However, I was sharing the cabin with a load of drunken oilmen. After consuming a few scotches each, and conversing with one another at the tops of their voices, they fell asleep one by one and the snoring chorus was at ear-drum bursting levels. Honestly, you’ve heard of the Bay of Pigs – well, this was the Baying of Pigs. And the man behind me kept falling forward and banging his head really hard on my seat. It didn’t wake him up, but it certainly prevented me from getting any rest. I begged to be taken back down to Sardine Class, but that was full. And I offered to pay to upgrade to First Class, but it was full too. And I had to go straight to a series of meetings… I wouldn’t want to do that again.
CF: With your show named Cheap Flights, do you have a favourite budget carrier?
DK: Er… no. They’re all much of a muchness, really.
CF: What was the cheapest flight you have ever taken – can you let us know the airline, price, destination?
DK: I’ve never got any of those incredible bargains (like 9p to Tallinn) because (a) I don’t particularly want to go to Tallinn, (b) they’re gone by the time I log on, (c) I can’t necessarily plan my life far enough in advance to get the amazing deals and (d) I don’t want to have to spend the kind of time on the computer that you need to really nab the cheapest options. I wouldn’t go somewhere just because I’d seen a flight for 50p advertised, which I know some people do. I fly either because I have to for work reasons, or because I fancy a holiday in a particular destination. And, if I can, I fly with scheduled airlines, as the overall experience is so much more pleasant. It’s worth the extra expense. However, I paid about £35 for a flight to Kerry recently, which seemed very good value. It was Ryanair – but of course!
(Images: Steve Ullathorne)
