Let’s call a spade a spade, shall we? Festivals are crawling with discerning (if inebriated) sartorialists and know-it-alls, so none of your faux pas will pass unnoticed. Whether it’s those neon shades or ubiquitous fringed bikinis, avoid endemic humiliation by following these 10 simple rules of festival code.
High Heels
Whatever possessed you to bring your high-heeled shoes to a muddy field, rampant with muddy festivalgoers? Swap with waterproof boots or chunky sandal flats for an altogether less traumatic experience.
Bottles
It may sound like a no-brainer, but just in case you didn’t get the memo: festivals don’t allow glass bottles. Buy cans instead, and that valuable 24-pack won’t get confiscated.
Matching Outfits
Twinsies! You squeal at your matching festival bestie. What, are you 13 years old? However cute the denim cut-offs and floral crop top combo may be, we don’t need to see it twice.
Suitcase
There’s nothing practical about lugging your suitcase around a muddy field: nor indeed, about trying to stuff in your tent. Get with the programme and buy a hiking backpack to bring with you instead.
Hangovers
OK, so you like to party – hard. But pace yourself on the first night, or you’ll spend the rest of the festival feeling wretched all alone in your tent. There’s no hangover on earth more miserable than that.
Designer Stash
Unless you’re an A-lister being watched over at all times by a flotilla of bodyguards, you’re going to lose your stuff. Favourite possessions invariably get muddy, stained, wrecked, and pinched at these events – so best to leave the valuables at home.
Sunburn
Even if torrential rain is on the forecast, don’t forget to pack some sunscreen. Peeling burns and lobster red skin is hardly festival chic.
Offensive Headgear
Flower garlands were pretty cool at first; but when every 1D fan and their aunt started wearing them, not so much. Worse still is the offensive misappropriation of the Native American headdress, or the Hindu bindi. Just. No.
Electronics
You’re not going to be able to charge them, so why bring them? Substitute the shiny new smart phone for that old brick you used to use, and swap your digital camera for a vintage disposable instead.
New Piercings
So you’ve bought your ticket, prepped the tent, and avoided the above faux pas; the only thing left to do is get that nose piercing you’ve always wanted, right? Wrong. The messy combination of mud, grime, and portaloos is a sure recipe for infection, and will only end in tears.
Featured Image © jaym-z/iStock/Thinkstock
Written by insider city guide series Hg2 | A Hedonist’s guide to… whose guides cover all the best hotels, restaurants, bars, clubs, sights, shops and spas.
