Oh Thailand! Country that’s on (nearly) everyone’s bucket list. The land of epic temples, friendly locals, lush jungles, elephants, tropical islands and beach parties among other things. Thailand is the ultimate backpacker’s dream. While we enjoy every bit of this amazing country, we often find ourselves telling silly lies like “I won’t eat anything but Thai food for the entire two weeks of my holiday”. While it’s nice to say such things, they often end up being just lies…so here’s a list of 13 (innocent) lies we’ve all told while travelling Thailand.

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1.“I try to avoid the party places in Thailand”

As you are headed on a night bus and following boat journey to Koh Phangan for a Half Moon Party, from Bangkok. Sometimes you just can’t avoid a party in Thailand, and so what, everyone loves to indulge a little. After all, Thailand is home to the world’s best parties.

2.“I only eat the local Thai food here”

Come on! Despite the delicious food Thai cuisine offers we all know we need our comfort food at times, especially after a long bus journey or a crazy night before. I see you going to Burger King.

3.“Thailand is just for tourists and expats, it’s too commercial now”

“Thailand is just too commercial.” We hear you saying. Well, what did you want? A country that is largely derelict and empty? It’s popular, yes, but there are thousands of places untouched by tourists. It has dozens of islands home to pristine beaches, you just have to know where to look. Start with Koh Lanta on the Andaman side or anywhere in Koh Phangan apart from Haad Rin.

4.“I want to do things the local way”

What for? So people don’t notice you? So you can show to others that you know the place slightly better than others? Thailand is Thailand and everyone fits in generally. If you are a foreigner then it doesn’t matter, you ain’t no local, you’re still a “farang”.

5.“ I don’t like Khao San Road ”

What is not to like about Khao San Road? Is it the exposure to a life full of travellers in the same boat? Cheap clothes? Street food? Performers? Come on, you can’t be much of a traveller if you can’t handle being in vibrant places.

6.“ The Full Moon Party is so overrated “

It’s about expectancy. You know what it is and what goes on. Thousands of young tourists on a beach, there is nothing secretive anymore, it is what it is. But still, it is one of the best parties in the world.

7. “Buckets aren’t even that strong in Thailand”

If you’ve ever said this then I don’t know whom you are trying to impress. Unless you have three livers, then half a liter of spirits in one bucket generally makes the buckets strong!

8. “I want to learn the Thai language”

I understand the lure of learning a new language and one that isn’t learnt by many people. However in Thailand speaking English will get you along just fine.

9. “Travelling Thailand isn’t easy”

In comparison to even European countries, travelling in Thailand is relatively easy. However travelling 12 hour on a night bus or there being constant delays in train schedules makes it a little bit challenging. Overall travelling in Thailand is generally easy.

10. “I’ve never been to a ping pong show”

Ok, well, this one is a bit tricky, not all of us have been to a ping pong show or it is particularly our cup of tea. But for most people it is the first thing they do in Thailand. So chances are you probably have been to a ping pong show.

11. “Eating Scorpions wasn’t that bad”

Seriously?! Eating a cold, fried, dry and bitter insect was delicious? I’m sure you’ll order them for breakfast. Not.

12. “I hate Bangkok”

This one is very common. “It’s the same as every city” or “ It’s too full on, controlled chaos”. It’s a city that has a wonderful blend of its local traditions and an influx of western influences. Plus it is regularly voted the world’s best city. If you are just thinking of the beach when in Thailand fair enough, but you don’t REALLY hate Bangkok.

13. “I haven’t been for one massage in Thailand”

When massages are as good and cheap as they are in Thailand, not going for one is kind of stupid. Ranging from £4 to £8 an hour that’s pretty cheap by western standards.

About the author

Tommy WalkerTommy is a freelance travel writer from North-east England. His favourite outdoor places in the world are the Galapagos in Ecuador, Angel Falls in Venezuela and Banaue in the Philippines. You may find Tommy practicing hot yoga in the morning, wandering through exotic rainforests during the day or drinking whiskey at a dive bar in the evening. Check out his website, The Wandering Walker.

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