May the 4th be with you! Seeing as it’s unofficial Star Wars Day, we were thinking what it would be like if this were the genuine international holiday it so rightly deserves to be. And we were also thinking (we do lots of thinking, honest) how would the Star Wars characters actually spend this day off and where…
Han Solo: Shanghai
Wheeler dealer Han would find himself at home in Shanghai, the buzzing hub of Chinese money and one of the world’s largest ports. From the lowest bazaars to the highest financial institutions, all would be ripe for some of Han’s cheeky chancing. Chewbacca would, of course, accompany him and probably sell ewoks to streetfood vendors (only joking!).
Yoda: Nepal
Yoda lives on Dagobah in a swamp, so anywhere would seem like a holiday for the little green fella. Nepal would allow him to live a similarly ascetic life during his holiday time, and give him some epic views to meditate upon. He also needs some time to think about why he did all those mobile phone adverts and whether or not he’s actually veering towards the dark side.
Princess Leia: Manhattan
Leia’s always so responsible and pious, it’s time she let her hair buns down. We reckon shopping on Madison and Fifth Avenue and perhaps a few drinks in the roof bar of the Standard Hotel ought to help her de-stress. If she really feels the need to do some international relations, she can visit the United Nations Headquarters.
Jabba the Hutt: Japan
Jabba spends most of his time doing nothing, so he’s in serious danger of type 2 diabetes. The road to recovery involves exercise, and his somewhat ample frame is rather well suited to sumo. Hopefully Japan’s ultra-polite culture can also teach Jabba the art of respect towards others.
Darth Vader: Sweden
Obviously, we can’t send Darth anywhere hot because he’ll be in a right sweat under all that black plastic. We reckon Sweden would make a nice cool change for him. He can eat meatballs and shop in Ikea for all those parts he needs to build a new Deathstar.
Luke Skywalker: Thailand
Goody-two-shoes Luke is so pleasant and naïve, you can’t help but feel he needs a holiday that allows him to be a bit naughty. Luke’s eyes will pop out of his head at much of the attractions in Khao San Road in Bangkok, and maybe he can drunkenly get himself a tattoo of Obi Wan Kenobi on his bum. If he’s feeling embarrassed and guilty about it all afterwards, he can visit the thousands of temples around the country and cleanse his soul.
Emperor Palpatine: Jamaica
Palpatine needs to get himself down to the one of the racier resorts in Jamaica, like Hedonism II, where the easy vibe will mean he can ditch the hooded cowl and be naked for once. What happens in resorts, stays in resorts – especially if the emperor electrocutes any witnesses.
C3PO and R2D2: Munich
Initially we thought just turn them off for a bit – they’re robots, so that’s a holiday, surely? If you think that would just restore their factory settings and deprive the galaxy of their endearing personalities, then maybe they should take a trip to Munich in Germany. The world-famous BMW museum, particularly the area where they can test drive concept models, would delight R2D2, while we reckon C3PO could use some time in the beer halls with a few steins and an oompah band.
(Disclaimer: we didn’t bother with any of the characters from episodes I, II and III because they don’t deserve holidays, the useless rabble)
Featured image by JD Hancock
