Food writer, television presenter and cook Valentine Warner was the hit of BBC series What to Eat Now. He writes a monthly column for Countryfile and Delicious magazines and has written for The Times, The Independent, Olive, Waitrose Food Illustrated and other publications. His new book The Good Table is acclaimed as an “enjoyable adventure for foodies” and is highly recommended for Christmas. Published by Mitchell Beazley, it can be ordered via Amazon.
Cheapflights: What do you always do when you travel – any routine procedures?
Valentine Warner: Routine procedures – I always make sure that I have a tiny fishing rod packed somewhere in my luggage as I never know when I’m going to need it and I always take a couple of books and ones that I’m prepared to leave behind once I’ve read them to give me room to bring stuff back. I’ve left a long trail of books in people’s hotels. I also take a long trail of work, which I never end up doing.
CF: What is your travel pet peeve?
VW: I have to get to the airport a bit early as I don’t like cutting it too fine. My father was a great one for, if we were ever delayed, insisting that we could go to the local museum, but because we were always shaving it so fine on the way back, it instilled in me a feeling of not wanting to have to hurry.
Budget airlines always try to sell you loads of shit and it drives me crazy because it means you have to listen to your attendant for the last 20 minutes of your flight. If I want to buy something I’ll ask them, I don’t need to be reminded. For some strange reason my earphones never work. I’m always the guy who has to ask for another set. I can’t sleep on flights, so especially on long-haul flights, I always arrive at the other end looking absolutely deranged as I sit there watching bad films while everyone else is sparked out, feeling really jealous.
I detest XXXXXXXX with a passion. I think they choose their employees from hell. The nastier you are, the more evil you are, the more likely you are to get a job with them. And making a calendar of their nude hostesses is just so tasteless.
CF: What is your favourite kind of trip (preferences, romantic, city, beach etc)?
VW: Somewhere I know the fishing’s going to be amazing and where the food is delicious and I’ve travelled a lot for my fishing. I’m quite restless on holiday. I’m not one to sit by the beach or by the pool, so anywhere I know I’m going to get good fishing… I love to go to little places to eat off the beaten track to taste new delicacies.
CF: Best destination you have ever been to and why?
VW: Cuba. I had so much fun there. The food was pretty terrible, but the music was brilliant. The cigars were excellent. The fishing was the best I’ve ever encountered, the company was fun and the island was utterly stunning. I strongly advise going before the Americans get hold of it.
CF: Where in the world offers the best value for money?
VW: I think India. I’ve travelled on nothing there at all. I’ve eaten on nothing. One time I had someone drive me everywhere for a very cheap price. It’s wonderful.
CF: Where would you pay to stay? Is there anywhere you think offers great value and a great deal?
VW: I do like going to the Hurricane Hotel in Tarifa (Cadiz, Spain). Apart from the problems of sand combined with wind, it’s beautiful. The hotel’s great and charming and I’ve had many happy times there with my wife.
CF: What is the best airport you have flown from and is there a tip to make this airport experience great?
VW: I would have to say I find one airport pretty much like another, but the one I remember was at the age of three flying to Japan and seeing the giant polar bear in a glass cage in Anchorage and it terrified the bejesus out of me. It’s set up in a snarling, growling position and for a three-year-old boy, my eyes popped out of my head. Any lounge that’s kind enough to let me in always makes the airport better.
CF: When you fly, is there a tip you can share to make the experience a great one?
VW: Don’t drink too much as it always leaves you feeling dried out and uncomfortable. See if you can get hold of a few extra bags of those tiny pretzels, that always makes me feel good.
CF: If there was one travel nightmare trip, where would it be to and what would it involve?
VW: I think flying from Jakarta to Japan was disastrous for me. I got very, very ill in Jakarta. At the time I smoked roll-up cigarettes and I looked so ill and thin from having dysentery that when the Japanese authorities found the cigarette-rolling papers in my bag they thought that they were something else. I remembered a letter my dad had given me in case I ran into trouble saying he was the ex-ambassador to Japan, so I was immediately chauffeur driven to my destination in Tokyo with lots of apology and lots of bowing. Thank God for my father’s letter!
