Listen up, gents. There are certain places in the world that channel the male life-force energy field throughout the planet with their super-manly XY power (like in our featured image, by All Kinds of New).
These poles of energy reverberate male chi across the globe and ensure that men everywhere feel a bit manly from time to time.
This is some esoteric superman secret stuff, so don’t tell any women about it – they’re already annoyed about living in a predominantly patriarchal society as it is. Anyway, they have their own places and spaces – see where they are.
Despite a certain infamous young lady erroneously bearing this name in more recent times, Paris is in fact a grunting powertrip of a man’s name. It was the name of the legendary prince who started the Trojan War – yes, the thing with the big wooden horse.
Zeus gave Paris the task of picking the most beautiful of three goddesses, thanks to a trick by Eris, the goddess of chaos. He picked Aphrodite because she promised him the love of Helen who just happened to be the most beautiful woman in the world and, awkwardly, the wife of King Menelaus of Sparta.
Paris had to kidnap her himself though and that started a really famous manly war. He also later killed Achilles, the hardest man in all of Greece. Yep, Paris was proper manly, and that’s why the city is too.
Leon, Spain / Italy / France / USA
The most famous hitman in cinema was the French assassin Leon. He was hard as nails and also protected a young Natalie Portman from the mean streets of the underworld.
The Leons in France, Italy, Spain and the States are all equally teeming with French levels of deadliness, and are yet strong and reliable like their namesake. All male citizens sport moustaches in keeping with the assassin’s style.
The Batman area in Turkey happens to have the same name as the world’s most popular highest-grossing superhero.
DC Comics and Warner Bros have hidden many batcaves here in honour of their cash cow, and today it’s the world’s number-one producer of utility belts and cars that turn into bikes. Hard as nails, and not a turkey at all.
The self-proclaimed genius of popular rap, Kanye West, is named after this city in Botswana. His hip, hop and happening rhymes about what a great guy he is assure us that he must embody the purest form of manliness imaginable.
Using the logic and evidence so favoured by Mr West, we cannot help but assume Kanye in Botswana is the coolest, manliest and most genius place of man essence in the solar system, if not the universe.
Colombo, Sri Lanka
The world’s coolest police detective is named after the city of Colombo in Sri Lanka. This is because everybody here wears camel-brown trench coats and is a deductive ubermensch with a glass eye.
This place resonates with the male powers of decisiveness, logic and waggling one’s finger.
Plato was only pretty much the most famous thinker ever, sparking western civilisation’s advances in intelligence and ideas.
He had a republic that was just well manly, but unfortunately bounded to the confines of a book, so it’s great that Plato in Colombia exists and is maybe trying to embody those ideals, whatever they may be.
Manly thought vibes are certainly part of it, that much is obvious.
Man, Cote d’Ivoire
The original centre of the male universe is Man itself.
Man can be found in the Cote d’Ivoire, and is the most overwhelmingly manish manly manplace that ever manned the decks of the HMS Man. (Editor’s note: Okay, that’s enough. You stopped making sense a long time ago.)